There are a lot of articles and books written on it, and one thing they ALL preach is to take control of your emotions. Naturally, after the breakup, you feel nothing but depression and sadness. You are willing to let go of all your dignity and self-respect to try to find ways to win your ex back.
However, as you can see anywhere, this is something which makes you highly unattractive to your ex – and that you certainly do not want as it will only make matters worse. Therefore, instead of stalking your ex or crying in front of him or her or putting up emotional statuses on your Facebook page, get a grip over yourself. If you act needy and clingy, it will make your ex uncomfortable, and he or she will start avoiding you. That will just hurt you further and won’t do you any good.
Now since you are naturally feeling low and not in control of your emotions, instead of showing him or her your emotions, stop contacting them. Keep your distance and do not e-mail, message or meet for a certain time. However, that definitely does not mean that you start being insensitive towards your ex partner. For example, if they had a birthday, wish them a happy birthday on time and in a pleasant manner; if a family member got seriously ill inquire about his or her health. If you meet him or her somewhere be polite and pleasant instead of ignoring them and being rude.
Use this time to get your emotions in check and regain your composure. Keep yourself very busy and try indulging in activities where you interact with other people. This will be a nice distraction and will help you deal with the pain. It will also allow your ex to miss you. When you two were together, you two developed the habit of staying in constant touch. Now when you do not contact your ex, they will feel that something is missing and because of the habit, they will want to be in touch with you again. So with this time off you will also be reminding them what they used to have, helping your effort to win back your ex.
Now use this time to reflect on your relationship. Think about the problems, the underlying reasons, the negatives and positives in your relationship and the mistakes you made. Keep an open mind and be honest to yourself. Similarly, think about the qualities in you which attracted your ex towards you. See if you still have them or have you changed?
Now that you have analyzed your good and bad qualities, work on your weaknesses. Try to become a better person. This will automatically make you a more attractive person. If you have anger issues learn to deal with them and control your anger.
By improving in all those areas prove to your ex that they made the wrong decision. In the meantime, make yourself physically and mentally more attractive. Workout, be sociable, reconnect with old friends and put in more effort in your work. Go on with your life in a normal way. Pick up a hobby or do something which once made you happy – even if it does not make you happy right now.
Show your partner that you are an independent individual whose world is not falling apart without them. This creates a mature, independent and collected person’s image, and these are all attractive qualities.
When you feel that you are now in control of your emotions and ready to take the next step, arrange a meeting with your ex. Use an excuse like you have to return something. When you meet, keep it light and cheerful. Show them that you have become a better person. Do not ask them to come back, but admit your mistakes and show them that you have realized where you went wrong.
When they leave they will leave with a fresh perspective of you and will most probably want to come back! Good luck and think about the advice given in this article when looking for appropriate answers on how to win your ex back. However, just remember not to push your ex partner, always give him or her space and let them take their time.