How to Get My Ex Back – A Vital Question Finally Answered
Well, you had some bad luck, and you are no longer together with the person you loved and cared for. But then, you miss your ex and would like things to be back to the way they were before. Therefore, the only question occupying your mind now would most likely be “how to get my ex back?”
Get a grip of yourself
At first, you need to understand that it is crucial to get a grip of yourself. No begging, pleading or being needy should be demonstrated. This really is quite unattractive and, instead of winning your ex back, it only pushes them away even further.
Consequently, it is important to control your emotions, regardless if you feel like not wanting to do all that. And let me assure you, without understanding your ex-partner’s feelings towards you properly, you won’t be able to find an answer to your initial question “how to get my ex back.”
Avoid the Doormat Syndrome
Further on, you should not say to him or her something like “I will do anything and everything you say, just come back to me.” This is known as the Doormat Syndrome. It indicates that you are prepared to sacrifice everything for the other person, even if you do not like it. You are willing to do it just to get back with your ex.
This is usually a recipe for disaster. First, it portrays you as a needy, unattractive, as well as clingy person, and your ex certainly will not feel attracted towards you. And secondly, even if your ex-partner agrees to get back, you will be the loser because of doing things which make you unhappy.
This would obviously not contribute to a healthy lasting relationship.
Play it cool
Instead, you need to stay calm and collected and play it cool. Avoid contacting your ex. If he or she is trying to contact you via phone, messaging, through a friend or email, do not respond to it. Give your ex some space, and show him or her that you are perfectly capable of living a life without them.
Give it a couple of weeks before making any move. However, play your cards carefully and try to be sensitive, like, for example, remembering your exes’ birthday.
Review your past relationship
During this time, do an honest review of your past relationship and the mistakes you made. Think about the reasons why you two actually drifted apart. Analyze what went wrong and realize your faults. However, also consider your good qualities and your strengths, which made your ex fall for you in the first place.
If those characteristics have changed, work on it to become again that person your ex once loved.
Do not just say that you have changed and become a different person. You need to demonstrate that you have in fact done so. Work on your weak points like jealousy, insecurity or anger for instance, in order to prove that you are again the person you were when you both first met.
Think ahead before meeting your ex
However, only ask for a meeting with your ex when you really feel it is the perfect time, and you are ready for it. Try to keep this meeting in a relaxed and cheerful atmosphere. It’s always advisable to meet at new places, thus avoiding past memories.
A good reason for a meeting could be, for example, returning a book or something else. If your ex does not respond to your invitation, just give him or her a few days before asking again.
Of course, you have to look your best when you meet him or her. You might probably feel a bit nervous about meeting your ex. Do not be too concerned. This is quite normal, try not to show it. Stay calm so that both of you can enjoy this initial meeting.
Once the conversation gets to the most important point, the breakup, reveal to him or her that you have now realized the mistakes you made, and that you truly regret all what has occurred. Let your ex understand that you have worked on those problems to become a different person not for other people, but for your own benefit.
Make him or her realize that you are not asking for a second chance. Simply let them know that you see now what went wrong.
After this first meeting, give him or her time to reflect on it. Be patient, do not call too soon after that meeting. Instead, keep yourself busy and let yourself get distracted by other activities.
Give your ex space. He or she will appreciate that you are not pushing them, that you have realized what went wrong, and that you admit your guilt, being now prepared for a fresh start.
Finally, this will give you the answer to your initial question “how to get my ex back,” and the magic of making up will start working for you eventually.